Your Path is Yours, and Yours Alone
Rockin’ out with my band - live in Staten Island 2008
By: Youssef Chaz Chronic
When I was twenty-three years old I used to live in NYC and I had big dreams for myself. Big dreams of becoming a rock star, a lead singer in a famous heavy metal band. I envisioned touring the world, having a number one record in the charts, playing to sold out crowds, and banging hot groupies afterwards. Every night as I lay in bed before going to sleep I would imagine myself – just as the self-help books I was reading told me to do – walking out in-front of a large festival crowd, and hearing their roar, seeing their faces, feeling the wind in my hair, and then hearing the four count from the drums, and launching into it the first song.
Today I’m thirty-seven, way past my prime, never been in a signed band, never did a full tour, working a day job that I hate, and never having banged those hot groupies. It’s funny how life can be. You see you may think you know how life is going to turn out for you, but in reality, I don’t think any of us have a clue. We may have an idea, we may have plans that we try and stick to, but the fact of the matter is that there are so many things that can happen to fuck your shit up, such as freak accident, an economy crashing, a pandemic, a civil war, a bad breakup, you get the point… But also, maybe even more important, is that the thing that you envision for yourself, maybe it’s just not what you are supposed to do. It’s not in your cards, not yet at least, or maybe not even at all! The universe has something else planned for you. And you just simply need to get out of the way, go with the flow, and let it happen instead of always trying to control everything. It may not be as exciting as the picture-perfect plan you have conjured up in your mind, but knowing that the universe has your back and is taking care of things for you is pretty mystical and special if you ask me.
In my case I did not become the rock star I wanted to be, after twelve years of grinding it out in NYC - working shitty retail and restaurant jobs, playing in numerous bands, my failed four year stint as a real estate agent, my failed long term relationship of six and a half years which culminated in a foiled marriage proposal, and being broke all the time – I finally decided to throw in the towel and leave.
Now three years have past since and by all accounts I should give up on my music dreams, but I can’t - and I never will. But here is what I am trying to say: when your dreams come crashing down and you find yourself sitting among its ruins, remember that at that same moment is when other doors open up for you, and you must look for them – or at the very least – you must be aware of them. You won’t see a sign that says “walk through here!” instead you will sense a pull, a feeling in your gut, telling you to explore a certain venture, telling you to travel to another country, telling you to respond to that add about joining a theatre group. Listen to those feelings and follow them. Another thing to keep in mind is that these doors, in my experience at least, you never know you are walking through them until after the fact and you look back and that’s when you realize that your life has taken another route, another course. It might be a person you meet, a book you read, a poster on the wall. It’s different for everyone.
Like I said I’ve not given up on my musical dreams, in fact I’m currently in two awesome bands with great people and I’m having so much fun with them. The failure of my time in NYC also lead me to write a book about it – it’s not yet published - but I am super proud of it, and now one of my new things to become a successful author and I hope to write many books until the day I croak. Also, in the last year of me living in NYC I was forced to work in the restaurant industry because my real estate career was going to shit, and in the mix of it all I met my future co-host and good friend LEGINA, and we now have a podcast together – Yours truly DEGENERATES: Not Your Mom’s Podcast – which even though we just started - is a lot of fun to do and I’m excited to see where it takes us.
You will never become Anthony Bourdain, you will never be Slash from Guns n Roses, because that’s just impossible. There is only one YOU, and after YOU die, no one else will ever be born in this world that is exactly like YOU. Think about that. There is just you here, reading this, right now. Now it doesn’t mean that you can’t seek inspiration from your heroes and idols, but what I am trying to say is that you are on your own journey and it’s yours alone, and as long as you are still breathing and walking the face of this planet who knows what you have yet to accomplish. It doesn’t matter what age you are either. For me, hell, I might be one of the few rock stars who made it when they were in his 40s, I don’t know, but I’m just saying, it could still happen! So my point is be who you are and go in the direction your heart pulls you. Go out there and take risks. Put it all on the line. And remember, try not to overthink things, get out of your own way, and let the universe clear a path for you.
