What makes you smile, giggle, melt, tremble(the good kind), or do a little happy dance?

Photograph by Jun Kim @studio__nomad

By: Legina S. @soulful_gg

What makes you smile, giggle, melt, tremble(the good kind), or do a little happy dance?

This was a question I received a while back through a random dm and although it may seem like a simple question, it made me stop and think for a good while.

One, it was a great opening line that can actually lead to a fun conversation instead of just sending your genitals or saying something lame like “you’re hot”.

Two, my answer could’ve gone in many directions. I could have answered purely with the things that would sexually pleasure me or could have gone with a more innocent approach and answered with things like puppies, ice cream and tater-tots.

Keep in mind, this was an instagram dm from someone that saw me on an app I used to have in order to meet sexy, fun, open-minded people for a good time. Everyone on this app was very straight forward about what they are looking for, so there was no “I’m a nice guy/gal blahblahblah” bullshit, which was perfect for the single life I was pursuing. I truly detest any other form of internet dating that requires you to curate a profile with a bunch of pictures and answers to dumb questions so that the sex of your interest finds you ‘date-able’. I apologize for the rant.

Going back to the original question at hand, I’m sure this wasn’t really asked for me to take it to a whole new realm of self-realization and deep thought, but to this day I believe that it is something everyone should stop and think about. The simple things you like or dislike, will most of time be associated with a specific trigger or reason that can help you discover a profound sense of what you enjoy.  Sometimes you like something simply because it tastes good or is aesthetically pleasing to look at, but sometimes there are things that you like or enjoy because it resonates with you on a deeper level. 

For example, I’ve always liked being an older sister. I like caring for people and making people happy and this is probably why I love giving gifts. Seeing the happiness or surprise in the faces of the people I love is a great joy of mine. Whether it be a plate of food I cooked, or a gift I bought for them, it brings me joy to know that I took time to pick something out for them and that they know I care. This trait of mine has affected many, many life decisions and relationships, not to mention how I am sexually.

If we go into sex a little bit, I think that sex is such an important part of our lives and yet a lot of people do not know the answer to what sexually pleasures them or satisfies their needs.

I lived in Korea most of my teen and adult life and it was still a conservative time where other than a few close friends, no one freely spoke about specific details of their sexual lives in fear of being judged.

After moving to New York, I came across a few sexual partners that would ask me what I like or what my preferences are or what makes me feel good and not having ever been asked these questions before, I remember feeling embarrassed that I didn’t really know what I enjoy sexually. I quickly realized that most of my likes and dislikes, not only in bed but in general, had been shaped around the ‘norm’ of what Korean society accepts as good or bad and not my personal preferences. Since then, I have done quite a bit of self-discovery to find the things that make me melt or tremble.

Being honest about how you are really feeling can be very difficult. You have to be in touch with your inner self and try to break free from the bonds of what society or the people around you tell you how to feel. 

Life is fleeting my degenerates, and it is on you to make the best of it. 

Find what you love, find what makes you do a little happy dance.